My wife quit her job to be a "tradwife," I want a divorce.

I don't even know where to begin with this.

I’m 34 and my wife is 33. We have 2 Kids together. They are 11 and 9.

Me and my Wife have been together for 12 years and married for 8.

Around a year ago I noticed my wife increasingly sending me these Tradwife or traditional housewife tiktoks. I have nothing against that type of relationship but I don't think it makes sense for our current family situation. I do earn quite a bit more than my wife and enough to sustain our family on my own but I don't see the need to do so. I work 80% and my wife 50%.Besides Wednesdays where the both of us are working, either one of us is always home for the kids. I could work 100% and let my Wife be SAHM but again, both of my kids are attending school and in my mind there is no need for my wife to be at home 24/7.

She got increasingly pushy about it over the past two months and again I just kept on telling her that there wasn't any need for that. If we did decide to go down that route, what would she do during the hours my kids attended school? I know damn well our house doesn't need to be cleaned for 6 hours a day. She would constantly try to butter me up with "You would have dinner ready every day when coming home from work" and something about unlimited blowjobs or some bs like that. Again in the nicest way possible I would remind her that our kids weren't toddlers and our current work-life schedule allowed us to function perfectly fine.

We got into a pretty heated argument two weeks ago about it and my wife completely stopped having sex with me to "show me what I would be missing out on." She's basically been treating me like a roommate since.

I just thought she would get over it and this was just a phase but god was I wrong. I came home from work yesterday and saw a bunch of presents on the dining table. At first I thought they were all for me since my birthday was in a week but then I saw the labels on them addressed to my wife. I read one of the letters attached to one of the presents. The last sentence on it was literally "It was such a pleasure working alongside you and I wish you all the best moving forwards." I thought this was some sick prank. A few minutes later my wife just casually strolled into the living room acting like nothing was wrong. I guess she saw my mad expression and had the audacity to tell me that "You'll get over it." I just lost it.

I just left without saying another word and went to my parents house. I feel absolutely disrespected. Why the fuck would my wife think it was okay to just quit her job without telling me and just expect me to be fine with it. My wife has been bombarding me with texts and calls demanding to know where I am and that the kids miss me. I just told her to go find a lawyer and that I was done with her and then proceeded to block her.

My son just sent me a voicemail crying and asking why I was divorcing mom and if I was leaving the family and I guess that kind of broke my heart. I haven't responded and honestly don't know what to say to him. My mother in law has also been demanding that I return home and apologize to my wife. My parents also seem to be siding with my wife since they are traditional muslims. My mom also used to be a SAHM.

I feel like I'm wrong for immediately jumping to divorce without hearing her out and besides this whole job drama, I love my wife too much for this to be the end of our otherwise perfect marriage but on the other hand I feel like I've lost complete trust in her.

Should I just swallow my pride and let my wife stay at home from now on or should I follow through on divorcing her?

How should I navigate this situation?

AITA here?

Original story from Reddit.

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What I see here are two exhausted, burnt-out parents hanging on by a thread. The wife? She probably just needed a break—maybe even just the idea that she could take a break if she wanted to. The husband? He’s drowning in financial stress, just wanting to know he’s not shouldering this entire burden alone. The tragedy here? A complete communication breakdown. Neither of them expressed what they really needed.

Is OP the asshole? No, I don’t think so. Is the wife the asshole? Not exactly, but quitting her job without so much as a conversation with her husband was an extreme move. She’s basically trying to force him into accepting her as a traditional stay-at-home wife. That’s a pretty intense way to send a message.

This is a double-income family. We’re always talking about equality between men and women in relationships, but let’s be honest: true equality in a partnership is a myth. There’s no perfect 50/50 balance. Someone’s always doing more, and someone’s always holding more power. I’ll admit, I’m biased as a woman, but I believe women who juggle a 9-5 job, domestic chores, and childcare are carrying a heavier load than most men. When I was married, I felt I had two jobs. After an exhausting day at work, I had to come home to cook and also prepare for the lunch bags the next day, twice a week, I had to pick up groceries on the way. I’d just picked up groceries from Trader Joe’s, and as soon as I stepped out of the subway, it started pouring rain. You know those paper bags Trader Joe’s has? Yeah, the rain soaked right through the handles, and they snapped. So there I was, one bag cradled in my arms, the other dangling in the rain as I trudged home. When I finally got to our apartment, drenched and exhausted, I walked in to find my husband sprawled on the couch, sipping his beer and watching TV. He’d been home for two hours. He didn’t even think about cooking. He was just waiting for me. And when he saw me struggling with the groceries, did he jump up to help? Nope. Not even a flinch.  dropped the bags on the floor, walked past him, and headed straight to the kitchen. As I stood there, soaking wet and staring at those damn groceries, I asked myself, “Is this really what I wanted?”

I’m not making excuses for the wife, but I can absolutely understand why she wanted a break—and why she just wanted to know her husband would stand by her during that time. For married women, moments of desperation aren't rare. I’ve had it, like that grocery moment. they’re a part of life. Sometimes we push through in silence, but sometimes we just need to let go of a bit of that burden. That’s likely what’s happening here with the wife.Sure, plenty of men will argue that they’re pulling their weight, that they help out just as much. I get it—we’re all burnt out. With this economy, and this brutal job market, it feels like our salaries are in a never-ending race against the skyrocketing cost of living. It’s tough for everyone. But guys, let’s be real: it’s not the same. Cooking, planning meals, juggling childcare—it’s a whole different ball game. The mental and emotional toll is immense, and sometimes all we’re asking for is a little understanding, a little support, and maybe a little break to catch our breath.

What the wife was really seeking was reassurance from her husband—a simple sign that she could take a break without everything falling apart. But here’s where she went wrong: she never communicated those thoughts. Instead, she latched onto the “tradwife” trend sweeping social media, and honestly, it cheapened the whole narrative. When you say you’re doing something because it’s trendy, especially when it involves the dynamics of an entire family, it screams that you’re not thinking about anyone but yourself. Trends are often seen as shallow, and that’s why her husband had no idea what she was trying to achieve. From what I can gather, aside from her fixation on the “tradwife” aesthetic and having dinner ready by 6 p.m., she never really talked about what she actually wanted to do with her time at home. And like her husband pointed out, the kids are at school all day, and the house doesn’t need six hours of cleaning.

If this was just her way of trying to take a break, do some creative writing, pick up a new skill, or even transition into a different career, she failed to communicate that. Without a clear explanation, it just looks like she’s expecting her husband to shoulder all the financial responsibilities without any purpose behind it. When someone’s working hard without a clear purpose, all they feel is pressure and stress, not motivation. That’s probably why the husband is hiding and threatening divorce. People make threats when they’re scared.

Dragging the kids into it by having them call their dad and question why he’s divorcing her? That’s just adding fuel to the fire and putting unnecessary stress and fear on them. Honestly, this whole situation doesn’t seem as complicated or monumental as either the wife or husband is making it out to be. Maybe all the wife needed was to hear something like, “Yes, babe, I’ll take care of you and the family if you need a break.” Then they could’ve worked out a plan together.

Now, let’s not rule out the more cynical option—maybe the wife is trying to take advantage of the entire situation, setting up a dynamic where the husband is the sole breadwinner, increasing her chances of getting alimony down the line. If anyone’s thinking this way, go check out our video “The Biggest Misconception About Alimony.” It doesn’t work like that.

My advice? Don’t rush into any drastic decisions. Really listen to each other, talk things through, and take some time to sit with your thoughts. You might find that the solution isn’t as far out of reach as it seems.